Hunder er svært tålmodige med oss mennesker. Hva de aksepterer av ren kjærlighet. Her er noen gode eksempler på nettopp dette. Hund og brød blir veldig morsomt:
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BREAKING NEWS: 9 out of 10 Norwegians enjoy pretending Corona doesn’t exist anymore since after all, it’s nice weather
Summer is here and life is good. The cold is gone, the rain is gone and, not least, the silly Corona virus is gone. That is, it is not gone, but Norwegians most people are content to pretend it is gone so that we can enjoy ourselves in the summer heat for it deserves even if someone can die
The beaches on the go further
eAvisa has been driving all over the Norway the last few days and it is a joyous sight. People hug, bathe on top of each other, laugh and cuddle. “Now that everything is fine and the danger of infection is over, life is well leftbehind,” says a woman pretending the Corona virus is gone. She looks forward to enjoying herself on the beach over the next few weeks with thousands of other Norwegians who also pretend her father is over
Only elderly
people who die In Oslo, the restaurants are full, the beaches like all other years and peaceful demonstrations take place in good old style. “Today I will demonstrate against people who do not like grey sparrow and afterwards I will go to dinner with colleagues at Aker brygge. I hope we get a table. Everyone’s going out these days.“smiles a man who also thrives on pretending Corona is over.” Besides, it’s only older people who die and they’re going to die sooner or later anyway,”he says as he cuddles with a softice
WOULD IMPRESS GIRLS: Geir fainted on the beach after keeping his stomach inside for 3 hours
Geir Mensrud Blodtangen from Voss is single and experiences the beach as a great place to meet girls. “Because the girls are almost naked, you don’t have to wonder what their body is like” says Geir. After many hours on the beach where he would impress girls by keeping his stomach in, it became too much. Geir passed out in front of hundreds of beach guests
Has a big belly
Geir, who is about to turn 40, is not 100 per cent satisfied with his body. That’s why he spends a lot of energy pulling in his stomach when he meets girls he’d like to sleep with.”Yes it looks better if I do not breathe normally and release my stomach. It has become great after many years of burgers, french fries and not least beer” he says. After chatting and wandering around the beach for hours while pulling his stomach, he fell about in front of a bunch of girls. “Embarrassing”says Geir himself
Had to let out your stomach: When Geir passed out, he had to let out his big belly. “A lot of girls laughed and pointed at him when he passed out” tells a witness with a perfectly decent stomach
Common in boys
Doctor and wet room expert Gunnar Grav Grøtte from Grorud says that summer is high season for men who pass out as a result of pulling their stomachs in front of girls. “Yes we get daily men with a little too big a vom here at the emergency room”he says. He can further tell that he himself is single and that he does not have a big stomach. “No those who have a big stomach are losers. I’m not a loser. I’m a doctor and I have a well-trained body so here the girls can enjoy themselves with a well-trained doctor in bed. In addition, I am also a wet room expert” he says while he smiles extra to show his newly bleached teeth
Have you experienced anything like it? Have you passed out on the beach? Ha?!
VILLE IMPONERE JENTER: Geir besvimte på stranden etter å ha holdt magen inne i 3 timer
Geir Mensrud Blodtangen fra Voss er singel og opplever stranden som et flott sted å treffe jenter. “Ettersom jentene er nesten nakne slipper man å lure på hvordan kroppen deres er” sier Geir. Etter mange timer på stranden der han ville imponere jenter ved å holde magen sin inn ble det for mye. Geir besvimte foran flere hundretalls strandgjester
Har stor mage
Geir som snart fyller 40 år er ikke hundre prosent fornøyd med kroppen sin. Derfor bruker han mye energi på å trekke inn magen når han møter jenter han kunne tenke seg å ligge med. “Ja det ser bedre ut om jeg ikke puster normalt og slipper ut magen. Den har blitt stor etter mange år med burgere, pommes frites og ikke minst øl” forteller han. Etter å ha pratet og vandret rundt på stranden i mange timer mens han trakk inn magen falt han om foran en gjeng med jenter. “Flaut” sier Geir selv
Måtte slippe ut magen: Når Geir besvimte måtte han slippe ut den alt for store magen sin. “Mange jenter lo og pekte på han når han besvimte” forteller et vitne med en helt grei mage
Vanlig hos gutter
Lege og våtromsekspert Gunnar Grav Grøtte fra Grorud forteller at sommeren er høysesong for menn som besvimer som følge av at de trekker inn magen foran jenter. “Ja vi får daglig inn menn med litt for stor vom her på legevakten” forteller han. Han kan videre fortelle at han selv er singel og at han ikke har stor mage. “Nei de som har stor mage er tapere. Jeg er ingen taper. Jeg er lege og har en veltrent kropp så her kan jentene kose seg med en veltrent lege i sengen. I tillegg er jeg også våtromsekspert” sier han mens han smiler ekstra for å vise sine nyblekede tenner
Har du opplevd noe lignende. Har du besvimt på stranden? Hæ?!
13 unfortunate and embarrassing distinctions you should avoid getting this summer
The sun and the warm degrees have once again come to Norway and most of us appreciate lazy days of swimming and sunbathing. With a few simple steps, you can quickly distinguish from the sun which is fun, embarrassing and very stylish:
READ ALSO: Government will ban parents from renaming their child Ronny
1. When falling asleep with the bottle on your chest:
2. Look there yes. Beautiful…
3. Batman there:
4. When you have some funny buddies and fall asleep in the sun:
5. Guess he has been wearing caps yes:
6. When the sun is frying while eating cereal:
7. Sunglasses and caps there:
8. Crocs:
9. Rock on:
10th Okay, a?
11th Beautiful:
12. Has cycled far yes:
13. Proper brown on upper body:
13 uheldige og pinlige skiller du bør unngå å få i sommer
Solen og de varme gradene er nok en gang kommet til Norge og de fleste av oss setter pris på late dager med bading og soling. Med noen enkle grep kan man fort få skille etter solen som både er morsomme, flaue og veldig stilige:
LES OGSÅ: Regjeringen vil forby foreldre å døpe barnet sitt Ronny
1. Når man sovner med flasken på brystet:
2. Se der ja. Vakkert…
3. Batman der altså:
4. Når du har noen morsomme kamerater og sovner i solen:
5. Tipper han har hatt på seg caps ja:
6. Når solen steker mens du spiser frokostblanding:
7. Solbriller og caps der altså:
8. Crocs:
9. Rock on:
10. Okei, skjer a?
11. Vakkert:
12. Har syklet langt ja:
13. Skikkelig brun på overkroppen:
Seagull delights in a new summer in which he’s going to poop people in the head for fun
“It’s not long until now. Now it’s just before the season is underway.” the 4-year-old gull who is located around the beaches of the Oslo fjord smiles. He and his family are looking forward to a summer where they compete for who in the family manages to meet as many people as possible with poop
The forehead is the main goal
The seagull tells me that his family has long traditions when it comes to shitting people down. “Since the early 1950s, my family has been known in the seagull environment for being some real shitbirds”laughing seagulls who have a lot of humour. “We aim at the forehead so that when we hit then drain our poop down the forehead and we are lucky then it flows a little into the eye or mouth”he says
Never feel
guilty The seagull, which is called Axel, says that it is perfectly normal to do this during the summer months in Norway. “Yes this is not uncommon. Next to eating fish, that’s pretty much what we seagulls do. Sometimes we sleep, but it’s reasonably boring.” he says. He points out that there are no seagulls who feel guilty; “No, on the contrary. When we hit, it rolls a really good feeling throughout our body” he smiles
The seagull won’t say where he thinks it’s best to poop people in the face, but hints that Bærum is a nice place to shit people in the face for no reason whatsoever…
Måke gleder over en ny sommer der han skal bæsje mennesker i hodet for moro skyld
“Det er ikke lenge til nå. Nå er det like før sesongen er igang” smiler den 4 år gamle måken som holder til rundt strendene i Oslofjorden. Han og familien ser frem til en sommer der de konkurrerer om hvem i familien som klarer å treffe flest mulig mennesker med bæsj
Pannen er hovedmålet
Måken forteller at han hans familie har lange tradisjoner når det kommer til å drite ned mennesker. “Siden tidlig 50-tallet har familien min vært kjent i måke-miljøet for å være noen skikkelige drittfugler” ler måken som tudeligvis også har humor. “Vi sikter på pannen slik at når vi treffer så renne bæsjen vår nedover pannen og er vi heldige så renner det litt inn i øyet eller munnen” sier han
Aldri dårlig samvittighet
Måken, som av familien blir kalt for Axel forteller at det er helt normalt å drive med dette i sommermånedene i Norge. “Ja dette er ikke uvanlig. Ved siden av å spise fisk er det stort sett det vi måker driver med. Det hender jo vi sover, men det er rimelig kjedelig” sier han. Han påpeker at det er ingen måker som får dårlig samvittighet; “Nei snarerer tvert imot. Når vi treffer så ruller det en skikkelig god følelse gjennom hele kroppen vår” smiler han
Måken vil ikke si hvor han synes det er best å bæsje folk i ansiktet, men hinter til at Bærum er et fint sted å drite folk i ansiktet uten noen grunn overhodet…
BREAKING NEWS: Man who said he never gets sunburnt got one-time burn. Must be inside for 3 weeks
A man in his 30s lies at home in his apartment and writhes in pain. The man is severely burned after a day in the sun. The man is known by friends and family to be the one who always says he doesn’t have to smear himself since he never gets sunburnt
Enjoyed the
sun It was after a full day out in the sun in Oslo that the man ended up with 1 time of combustion. “Ithought I didn’t have to smear myself with sunscreen as I almost never get burned,”says the man by phone with eAvisa’s summer journalist. The man is pink all over his body and is in great pain as a result of enjoying himself in the sun without smearing himself. Now the man must be indoors for 3 weeks to recover
Known problem
among men Researcher and doctor at the Norwegian Centre for Sun Damage Gudjon Solstad says that this is a common problem among men. “Yes for some strange reason we see that many men think it’s cool or tough to say they never get burned. These men get burned time and time again so why they say this is a little incomprehensible” he says as he shakes his head
NEW SHOCK DISCOVERY: Large shoal of carnivorous fish in the Oslo fjord. More bathers bitten
The Norwegian Centre for Fish and Sharks reports several cases where residents in Oslo have been bitten to blood by the fish Haisatanus. The fish is originally a deep-water fish, but has now settled for incomprehensible reasons in the waters around the beaches of the capital
Bites of
toes Researcher Jan-Adolf Bass tells eAvisa that there are several bathers who have now had their toes bitten on several beaches in Oslo. “Thereare big shoals of this fish in the sea around oslofjoden now and they appear very aggressive”he says. He advises people not to bathe unless they want to risk getting bitten by one or more toes
Sharks and snakes
too The researcher further explains that there are not only aggressive meat-eater fish in the sea this year. “No, unfortunately, we are also seeing an explosion of sharks, carcasses and sea lions this year and these are breeds that can normally kill many bathers,” he says. He advises people to stay inside and in any case never again bathe in the sea. That’s how it
