Hjem Blogg Side 38

BREAKING NEWS: Huge amounts of Corona virus found in bacon

New interesting findings have now been made in search of new answers associated with the Corona virus. It may look like the Corona virus lives in large colonies of bacon. “This could mean that Corona originally occurs in pork. And we should not disregard the fact that all meat contains Corona” says researcher, doctor and spokesperson for the world’s vegan federation Lars Brokkoli Kålrud to eAvisa

No one has to eat bacon
The scientist who runs his own research park in the basement of his grandparents says that bacon seems to be the origin of Corona. “Yes it may look like Corona is multiplying in bacon at a staggering speed. Therefore, no one should eat bacon” he says. The scientist believes the same applies to all meat. “Don’t eat Corona, don’t eat meat,”he says as he raises his fist and tightens his lower lip. He is clearly engaged and angry as most vegans are

Haven’t had Corona
The self-appointed researcher points out that so far, there have been no reports of a single vegan who has had Corona. “That’s what it goes on. Meat is why we’ve got this pandemic. Now we have to stop eating meat or you die.” he says. Suddenly Lars has to finish the interview when his grandmother shouts that it’s dinner. “I have to have dinner, my grandmother shouts” concludes Lars Brokkoli Kålrud before running up the stairs. He stumbles. Hit your nose in the stairs so it breaks. The blood squirts and the grandmother screams and carries herself. “Yes yes now it’s almost Christmas” says grandfather

BREAKING NEWS: Summer is over. Snow is falling across the country next week.

Now the summer is over. As of next week, freezing temperatures, wind and snowfall have been reported, according to eAvisa weather expert Gudmund Solstad. “Thespecial thing about the first snowfall of the year is that all municipalities in the country will get some snow”predicts the weather expert. He can further tell that it will be a cold and wet autumn that we have not seen before in at least 487 years

Freezing temperatures across
the country
Furthermore, the comprehensive weather analysis states that it could be down to as much as 15 degrees celsius in the areas around Gnurevoldsbygda and Oslo. Already Monday the first snow falls and out towards the afternoon on Tuesday, in addition to extensive snow, also shotgun, blow small storm as well as fall rimmfrost in further areas. In other words, it’s going to be real in-weather.

Should last for 4 months
The abrupt arrival of winter weather should not last more than 4 months. “We see that in December there may be some less snow and that the fierce wind could possibly dampen itself a little”,says weather expert Solstad. Police, on the other hand, now advise everyone to change to winter tyres before snow slumps night to Monday. “The snow always comes as a surprise to us Norwegians so now it’s time to put on winter tires” recommends Police Chief Kai Kakkadue all eAvisa’s readers

SISTE NYTT: Da er sommeren over. Allerede neste uke faller det snø over hele landet.

Nå er sommeren over. Fra og med neste uke er det meldt kuldegrader, vind og snøfall i følge eAvisa`s vær-ekspert Gudmund Solstad. “Det spesielle med årets første snøfall er at alle kommuner i landet vil få noe snø” spår vær-eksperten. Han kan videre fortelle at det blir en kald og våt høst som vi ikke har sett maken til på i alle fall 487 år

Minusgrader over hele landet
Videre står det i den omfattende vær-analysen at det vil kunne bli ned mot hele 15 minusgrader i områdene rundt Gnurevoldsbygda og Oslo. Allerede mandag faller den første snøen og ut mot ettermiddagen på tirsdag vil det, i tillegg til omfattende snø, også hagle, blåse liten storm samt falle rimmfrost i ytterlige strøk. Det blir med andre ord skikkelig inne-vær

Skal vare i 4 måneder
Det brått ankomne vinterværet skal ikke vare mer enn i 4 måneder. “Vi ser at det i desember kan bli noe mindre snø samt at den voldsomme vinden muligens kan dempe seg litt“sier vær-ekspert Solstad. Politiet på sin side anbefaler nå alle om å skifte til vinterdekk før sneen laver ned natt til mandag. “Snøen kommer alltid som en overraskelse på oss nordmenn så nå er det på tide og sette på vinterdekk” anbefaler Politimester Kai Kakkadue alle eAvisa`s lesere

RIGHT NOW: Man who told him not to drink yesterday is extremely drunk today

A man from Drammen is lying sunday morning wondering if he should call the ambulance. The reason is that he drank over a whole bottle of Gin yesterday. This happened despite the fact that earlier in the day the man told several people that he should not drink alcohol yesterday.

Drank and enjoyed
The man who, by several, is believed to have a drinking problem believes even he does not drink too much. “Justyesterday I probably drank too much”says the man who forgets that he has said that sentence 23 times already in 2020. Either way, the man enjoyed himself with acquaintances yesterday. He increasingly mixed drinks and in the evening the drinks were at level 50/50 with Gin and household juice

Never drink again
eAvisa has been at home and interviewed the man. We sat on the bedside where the man was lying and gulped and was afraid to die. One of the questions we asked was whether the man should drink again. “No I’m not going to vaffal”replied the man with a low voice before he gulped up some bile. The man has been throwing up all day. “Can you get the paracet and a glass of water for me?”asks the man. “No we can’t, we’re going home and writing this thing” we unfortunately had to answer

Update 11:54 a.m.: The man has been taken to the emergency room. It turned out that the man had been poisoned by the household juice with which he mixed Gin. This juice had expired on April 3, 2004

RESEARCH: Norwegian men thrive best in the bathroom. Alone. Sitting. With your phone

The State Center for Interpersonal Relations has this week researched where men in Norway thrive best. The result is indisputable. A whopping 103% of the men who took part in the large study chose the toilet as their favourite place as long as they brought their mobile

Don’t even have to go to the bathroom
There are several surprising elements in this study. “We see that Norwegian men spend a lot of time in the toilet. Family fathers in particular stand out. They can sit in the toilet several hours a day even if they don’t even have to go to the bathroom” says researcher Hans Bolle Kanel to eAvisa.

Women hurry up
At the opposite end of the scale we find Norwegian women. The study shows that Norwegian women spend the least amount of time of all women in the world in the toilet. “The average for Norwegian women is 3 minutes toilet time a day. It’s strangely fast and we suspect that many women are sloppy with hand hygiene after do-visits” says the scientist. He thinks Norwegian women appear to be unaccompanied. “Yes I actually think” concludes the researcher who has received several awards associated with his work as a researcher

BREAKING NEWS: White House confirms Trump is sniffing glue

A lot of people have asked themselves what’s going on in the head of the US president. Now the White House is confirming what many have suspected for several years; Sure, that’s right. Donald Trump sniffs glue several times a day. “Thisexplains a lot”says eAvisa’s political expert by phone from Vattfjordsock

Talk about multiple tubes
White House spokesman spokesman confirms the president is sniffing glue. He explains that there is talk of several tubes with wood glue as well as superglue on a daily basis. In addition, the spokesperson says Trump is also sniffing his socks to achieve even more sense of madness. Trump is expected to sit as president until he resigns with death

Glue boosts performance
Donald Trump responds to the disclosure with great composure. “Thereis nothing wrong with sniffing neither glue nor socks”he says. On the contrary, he believes that glue is a remedy that should be used to improve performance and that can be easily called performance enhancing. “That goes out of its way. I’m sniffing glue. I’m the greatest president of all time, and I pretty much fix most things. So therefore; Sniffing of glue is good” says Trump

eAvisa has spoken to several people who believe that sniffing glue is not good. We have no idea what to think really.

BREAKING NEWS: Fed woman bit her husband after he told her to calm down

“I was annoyed” says the woman

When Beate Brokkstav Felatus gave birth to his first daughter, the man was to be included as moral support next to the birth bed. The session started well, but came to a dramatic end for the man who is now dead.

Trifled pain
The man started with some encouraging word choices like “You’re good darlings”and “This is going well, my girl”. Unfortunately, the man perceived that Beate exaggerated something when she screamed and screamed as a result of a man going out of her little pee. The man first said that “So it hurts, i guess it’s not” and then to say “This is getting embarrassing. They hear us out in the hallway.” tells a witness who works as a midwife.

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Got what’s deserved: After a series of comments that she should pull herself together, Beate chose in full rage and eats up her husband. Many now agree that this is fine as it is a known case that women can behave as unsympatheticly they will only when they have “pain” during childbirth.

Ate man in full rage
As the woman continued the painful experience, the man continued to encourage her to pull herself together. The man had read a research report online that it actually is not so painful to give birth, but that women exaggerate very. Suddenly the woman got enough and grabbed the man’s throat and ate him slowly but surely up. “We chose to let the woman eat ready for fear of being eaten up ourselves”says a witness who works as a doctor. He describes the woman as extremely unstable and irritated during childbirth.

The story is not just sad. Beate and her daughter were sent home from the hospital just 2 hours after giving birth which is well within the 6-hour deadline. “Yes it’s a victory for the system that we got them out so fast”says a politician who doesn’t quite understand the extent of what he’s set to talk about

New vulgar dress trend comes to Norway: Vagina dress

Is this pretty?

More and more images are flowing in of what needs to be referred to as the most vulgar trend of all time. The trend is happening all over the world and has now reached the red carpets around the fashionable circles. Last out were the famous Italian models Giulia Salemi and Dayane Mello who appeared in these dresses on the red carpet:

PSA: Stop Trying To Make The 'Vagina Dress' Happen

Little left to the imagination: Here there really is not much that is left to the imagination. A small gust of wind here and the total blotting is a fact!

Vagina cleavage: New fashion trend sees celebrities baring all in...

There came a small gust of wind yes:
Sexy or just vulgar? While the men cheer on the mildly exposing dress, more girls are rather doubtful about the ever-growing fashion trend.

What do you mean? Is this beautiful and sexy or just a little disgusting?

PRESS PAGE 2 TO WATCH AND THE VIDEO EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUT

Ny vulgær kjoletrend kommer til Norge: Vaginakjolen

Er dette pent?

Flere og flere bilder renner inn av det som må omtales som tidenes mest vulgære trend. Trenden skjer over hele verden og har nå nådd de røde løperne rundt omkring i de fasjonable kretser. Sist ut var de kjente italienske modellene Giulia Salemi og Dayane Mello som dukket opp i disse kjolene på den røde løperen:

PSA: Stop Trying To Make The 'Vagina Dress' Happen

Lite overlatt til fantasien: Her er det virkelig ikke mye som overlates til fantasien. Et lite vindkast her og den totale blottingen er et faktum!

Vagina cleavage: New fashion trend sees celebrities baring all in ...

Der kom det et lite vindkast ja:
Sexy eller bare vulgært? Mens mennene jubler over den mildt sagt eksponerende kjolen er flere jenter heller tvilende til den stadig voksende motetrenden.

Hva mener du? Er dette vakkert og sexy eller bare litt ekkelt?

TRYKK SIDE 2 FOR Å SE OG VIDEOEN ALLE SNAKKER OM

BREAKING NEWS: Svetlana and Olga start fishing courses for Norwegian men who want to learn and fish

“We’re looking forward to it” beams the girls

The Russian and fishing girls Svetlana and Olga these days move to Norway. Here they will start a fishing school for Norwegian men who want to learn and fish. “The course takes place over a weekend and costs 2500 kr night… ehh day” says the girls who fish mass

Many already signed up
The girls say they already have over 50 enrolled men who have said they want to learn and fish. “We posted an ad on a website where we wrote that we wanted to teach fishing and suddenly we had bookings worth over 100,000 Norwegian kroner” tells the girls and continues; “We’re looking forward to it. The first course will be at a cabin in Trysil where we will first undergo theory courses at the cabin before starting the practical fishing training at a later occasion” says Svetlana

Image caption Sexy girl fishing
Skal lære norske menn og fiske: Russiske Svetlana (bildet) gleder seg til å få besøk av masse menn som betaler masse penger. “Interessen rundt fisking er stor i Norge så det er allerede utrolig mange menn som har svart på annonsene våre” stråler den fiskeglade jenta

Love big rods
Both Olga and Svetlana love fishing. “Ever since I turned 16 I have loved big and long rods”says Olga. Both she and her friend can’t wait to see the selection of close rods the Norwegian men bring.”Yes there are so many different rods so this will be exciting”beams Svetlana while Olga nods consensually. “In the first place, it will only be fishing courses for men” concludes Olga without completely telling why

What are you thinking? Okay with a fishing course maybe?

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