Noen bør IKKE lage skilt!
Tilbudsplakater og forbudtskilt kan være så merkverdige at halvparten hadde vært nok. Her har vi funnet frem de rareste og sykeste skiltene fra Norge. Makan!
NYHET: Få eAvisa t-skjorte rett hjem i posten
Norges 18 SYKESTE og mest perverse butikkskilt!
1. Ekstra frisk til og med:
2. Ja ok…
3. Hæ?
4. Pent brukt dame der altså…
5. Ja kjenner du noen som passer beskrivelsen?
6. Høres ubehagelig ut:
7. Æsj?
8. Dette var et veldig godt tilbud:
TRYKK PÅ SIDE 2 FOR NESTE 9 BILDER
19 poor people having their WORST day ever
Most of us experience bad days. Days when nothing gets right and days when everything that can go wrong really goes wrong. These are some good examples of this:
1. It might have been fun for a little while, but then:
2. The day someone takes a picture of you that will be the worst picture of you ever:
3. Driving with his dog there…
4. When you come home from work and discover that you have forgotten to close the window in the bathroom:
5. Sunbathe…
6. When you lose your toothbrush and it falls like this:
7. Knut had bought a new printer. it turned out to be broken
8. When you have a cat:
9. Guess who was allergic to hair removal cream?
10. Always cozy with a dog on his lap that has diarrhea:
11. When one forgets to close the skylight and winter comes:
12. That birthday when Grete burned up her hair:
13. When you discover that your husband is a lousy craftsman:
14. Should not have eaten the strong food yesterday…
15. The day you were going to enjoy yourself in the amusement park:
16. I never get sunburnt…
17. Some eggs that shattered that day at work yes…
19 stakkars mennesker som har sin VERSTE dag noensinne
De fleste av oss opplever dårlige dager. Dager da ingenting blir riktig og dager da alt som kan gå galt virkelig går galt. Dette er en del gode eksempler på akkurat dette:
1. Det var kanskje moro en liten stund, men så:
2. Den dagen noen tar et bilde av deg som blir det verste bildet av deg noensinne:
3. På kjøretur med hunden sin der altså…
4. Når man kommer hjem fra jobben og oppdager at man har har glemt å lukke vinduet på badet:
5. Sole seg…
6. Når du mister tannbørsten og den faller slik:
7. Knut hadde kjøpt ny printer. den viste seg å være ødelagt
8. Når man har katt:
9. Gjett hvem som var allergisk mot hårfjerningskrem?
10. Alltid koselig med en hund på fanget som har diare:
11. Når man glemmer å lukke takluken og vinteren kommer:
12. Den bursdagen da Grete brant opp håret sitt:
13. Når du oppdager at mannen din er en elendig håndverker:
14. Skulle ikke spist den sterke maten igår…
15. Den dagen du skulle kose seg deg i fornøyelsespark:
16. Blir aldri solbrent jeg…
17. En del egg som knuste den dagen på jobben ja…
BREAKING NEWS: Woman saved from rape by gay rapist who raped rapist
BANGVOLD DOWNTOWN: In the middle of the day, in the middle of the pedestrian zone and in front of the entrance to a shopping mall, a woman was rescued from rape on Thursday morning. The man who tried to rape the woman was even raped by a gay rapist who raped the man who tried to rape the woman
The woman acted on
After the woman was rescued from the rape, she continued with her long shopping list. The woman is a 3-child mother and is planning a holiday at home this year due to the virus that Norwegians now reckon is gone forever. “I’m going to buy flowers, garden chairs, herbicides, cabbage rabi, mango, mushrooms and 9 litres of wine”says the woman who was previously married to a man named Ragnar but now has a new boyfriend. “His name is Viggo and he seems like a good thing,”says the woman
No longer thinking about the incident
Furthermore, the woman says that she has now come across the violent incident that occurred 30-45 minutes ago. “Sure, things like that happen, it went well so it is. Yes yes, noda so” says the woman. Bangvold police say they haven’t heard of the incident, but that if they hear about the incident they’re going to look into it properly. “Yes we’ll look at it if we hear anything about it,” policeman Rasmus Bøtte told eAvisa
SISTE NYTT: Kvinne reddet fra voldtekt av homofil voldtektsmann som voldtok voldtektsmannen
BANGVOLD SENTRUM: Midt på dagen, midt i gågaten og midt foran inngangen til et kjøpesenter ble en kvinne reddet fra voldtekt torsdag formiddag. Mannen som prøvde å voldta kvinnen ble selv voldtatt av en homofil voldtektsmann som voldtok mannen som forsøkte å voldta kvinnen
Kvinnen handlet videre
Etter at kvinnen ble reddet fra voldtekten fortsatt hun med den lange handlelisten sin. Kvinnen er 3-barnsmor og planlegger en ferie hjemme dette året grunnet viruset som nordmenn nå regner med er borte for alltid. “Jeg skal kjøpe blomster, hagestoler, ugressmiddel, kålrabi, mango, sopp og 9 liter vin” sier kvinnen som tidligere var gift med en mann som het Ragnar, men som nå har ny kjæreste. “Han heter Viggo og virker ålreit foreløbig” sier kvinnen
Tenker ikke lenger over hendelsen
Videre forteller kvinnen at hun nå har kommet over den voldsomme hendelsen som skjedde for 30-45 minutter siden. “Jada, slikt skjer, det gikk jo bra så sånn er det. Ja ja, neida så” sier kvinnen. Politiet i Bangvold sier de ikke har hørt om hendelsen, men at dersom de hører om hendelsen skal de se skikkelig på det. “Ja vi skal se på det om vi hører noe om det” sier politimann Rasmus Bøtte til eAvisa
RIGHT NOW: Family travels home from road trip after using up data after 2 days
“I’m going away from this family” mills 2-child mother
The Grønnerud Wass family from Oslo has for many months been looking forward to a family holiday. They are 2 adults with 3 children aged 10-17 years. The journey would go through Norway in the family’s newly purchased car with a sunroof. Unfortunately, my father completely miscalculated when it came to the amount of data. Now the family is about to unravel completely and have decided to return home to Wi-Fi after just 2 days on the road
Should save money
The father, who is considered by the rest of the family as the main reason for the widespread problem, would save money and buy the smallest family package. This thought he was going to stick to both streaming the World Cup, the blogging of the 17-year-old and to the photos his mother uploads on Facebook so she can receive recognition. Yes or likes as it is also called. Now the family is in a violent argument on state road 128 where the mother cries, dad is pissed and the kids howl. “Yes good holiday a”says the father in a comment
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Howling, bickering and fighting: Since the family’s data came to an end, there has been complete chaos in the car. ‘Worst holiday ever’ says mother who is so angry she just wants away from the whole family
Just want to go home to Wifi
The family who now just want home are now working to cancel a number of activities they have already ordered and paid for. It turns out to be difficult as most of it has to be cancelled online”The holiday should really last for another 8 days, but now this is completely out of the question”says the father. He will in no way miss the World Cup matches broadcast over the next few days. My mother, on the other hand, is so that she is now considering a skills miss. “Yes I can always go back to Ivar (the exmannen). He certainly hadn’t ruined a holiday to save £40″. milling she
BREAKING NEWS: 6-year-old hospitalized in psychiatric after just 2 days in motorhome with rain and mother-in-law
What was supposed to be an unforgettable family holiday in the family’s brand new motorhome ended up being a true hell for the 43-year-old 6-year-old sigmund Borre Ræl from Ytre Bjønnsokkfjord. After an argument number 38 with mother-in-law, the very annoyed and tired family father ended up in the psychiatric ward after just 2 days holiday
Rainy weather day
It wasn’t the summer holiday the family had imagined. “It seemed like the rain was following us”tells the wife who is now sitting in the waiting room outside the closed ward where her husband is now lying for treatment. She says they had to be inside the camper for almost 2 days at a stretch. “It was me, our 6 girls, my mother and then Sigmund then”she says. The mother-in-law known for her passive-aggressive attitude was the one who made the cup tip over for her husband when she commented on his driving for the 48th time
The toilet got tight
As 6 of the 8 girls in the camper had their period at the same time, both the mood was very amper and the toilet went tight several times. Each time it was Sigmund who had to fix the dense toilet. “Yes he said it at least 18 times that we didn’t have to throw bandages and tampons in the bathroom so we might have listened to him,”says one daughter of 17 years. She, on the other hand, was cursed by the constant absent mobile coverage. “It was at times impossible to post pictures on Insta. FAAN” she says clearly frustrated. She still has her period
Going to
sell the motorhome Sigmund and his wife, however, have now decided to sell the motorhome. “Yes, when it’s all right, it’s probably just as well that we get rid of it. Next year we’d rather rent a smaller cabin on the mountain where we can all enjoy ourselves together without driving around” she says while smiling insecurely and nervously
BREAKING NEWS: ‘Cake and Coke are fine for breakfast’ says dietitian
Many of us fuss every day about healthy eating. One of the most fussy meals is breakfast. “Breakfast is the most important meal” shouts it out by lean blog experts and self-proclaimed dietitians. Now it turns out that all this is nonsense. Cake and Coke for breakfast is completely in the way of that, according to a proper dietitian who eAvisa has spoken to
Just eating cake
Nutrition guru and truck driver Tormod Bolle Rosin has been researching for many weeks on a diet. He concludes that a so-called healthy breakfast is not necessary. “No that’s right, my research shows that cake and Coke are both good and nice”he says. He has eaten marzipan cake and coke every day for breakfast for nearly 5 weeks. “Zero problem, is in top shape”he says
Pudding and muffins
for lunch Nor is there a point in eating a fiber-rich diet, according to Tormod. “Ha ha no it’s just certain vass. I eat cake for breakfast, puddings and muffins for lunch and feel free to have a Berlin bowl before I go to bed. Going just fine. Just driving on” says Tormod who informs that he also drinks a lot of beer.” Beer is actually healthy”he says, referring to an article that beer is healthy as he has read on eAvisa
RESEARCH: Jogging named the best sport to avoid family as much as possible during the holidays
Summer holidays are hell for most people. For weeks, you have to socialize with family members and pretend to be having a good time. Now the National Centre for Interpersonal Relations has researched that jogging is the best way to avoid the family during the holidays
Jogger 3 times a day
Several holidaymakers who eAvisa has spoken to tell us that jogging is the only rescue to get away from the family often. A 41-year-old man from Halden says he is out jogging up to 3 times when he is on holiday with his family. Otherwise, this year he doesn’t jog at all. “No I jog just to get breaks from the hustle and bustle of the summer holidays”he says
Women wash and jog
For women, the situation is a little different. “We see that women on family holidays both jog and wash” says researcher Birger Hardt Lem at the research centre. He also thinks women stand a lot in the kitchen and pretend to cook advanced food so that they don’t fuss from the children and not least the fuss from the man about oral sex. “Yes we have advanced research confirming this” concludes the renowned scientist
THE LATEST: Government prepares for new shutdown of society because Norwegians are mostly selfish and social jerks
After the government for a few weeks ago closed up the community after a more or less total lockdown due to the Corona virus it looks like we once again have to prepare for a few months indoors. The reason is that many Norwegians are jerks.
See no other way out
The government writes in its press release that they now expect to have to shut down society once again. “After seeing many jerks walking in demonstrations, lying close to the beach and raving around drunk at night, we see no other way out than to once again shut down the community” great it in the press release from the government that is completely devoid of positive emojis such as smiley face, heart face or thumb upwards. That means it’s serious
Blaming
people The blame for the upcoming lockdown gives the government people. The Norwegian people. “Yes there is nothing else to say. Because of people, the infection is now back at record pace and especially among young people (Read; young and selfish jerks) it now seems that we have no other choice” says Prime Minister Erna Solberg from a basement apartment on Kløfta where she is quarantined after eating breaded bats….. Wait… Ha?? No, i guess this can’t be right… Or? Sure, this is right. After all, it says on the internet
