BREAKING NEWS: Donald Trump has a twin sister who is a farmer in Hokksund

The racist and mentally unstable president of the chaos-country America confirms today that he has a twin sister who works as a self-employed person in Hokksund. The woman named Albertine Trost runs a farm where she grows potatoes, spring onions and watermelons on a relatively small scale. The siblings haven’t spoken in years

Rarely sees
his brother eAvisa has as the only and largest serious news agency in Norway got Trump’s twin sister in speech. She says she rarely sees or talks to her twin brother. “Donald’s like a stranger to me. He never calls, never sends money or congratulates me on the day” she says. She is clearly disappointed with her twin brother, but keeps the door open if he chooses to take a trip to Hokksund to visit her. “Sure, he’s going to get potato cakes and cream served. That’s my specialty. she says

Donald confirms
After countless phone calls, texts and, not least, travels to the United States, the eAvisa has finally succeeded in getting confirmed from Trump that he acknowledges having a twin sister who lives in Hokksund where she works as a farmer. “Yes, i am a great man and i have a not so great twinsister”writes Trump in a short but precise text message to eAvisa.

eAvisa follows the case and will release new information about Trump’s unknown twin sister daily until May 13, 2065. If you have any information about Albertine Trost, please send us tips at politikk@tvillingsøsken.no

SISTE NYTT: Donald Trump har en tvillingsøster som er bonde i Hokksund

Den rasistiske og psykisk ustabile presidenten i kaos-landet Amerika bekrefter idag at han har en tvillingsøster som jobber som selvstendig næringsdrivende i Hokksund. Kvinnen som heter Albertine Trost driver en bondegård der hun dyrker poteter, vårløk og vannmeloner i relativt liten skala. Søskenparet har ikke snakket sammen på mange år

Ser sjelden broren sin
eAvisa har som eneste og største seriøse nyhets-organ i Norge fått Trump`s tvillingsøster i tale. Hun forteller at hun sjelden ser eller prater med tvillingbroren sin. “Donald er som en fremmed for meg. Han ringer aldri, sender aldri penger eller gratulerer meg med dagen” sier hun. Hun er tydelig skuffet over tvillingbroren, men holder døren åpen dersom han velger å ta seg en tur til Hokksund for å besøke henne. “Jada, han skal få potetkaker og fløte servert. Det er min spesialitet” sier hun

Donald bekrefter
Etter utallige telefoner, sms`r og ikke minst reiser til USA har eAvisa endelig lykkes å få bekreftet fra Trump at han erkjenner å ha en tvillingsøster som bor i Hokksund der hun jobber som bonde. “Yes, i am a great man and i have a not so great twinsister” skriver Trump i en kort, men presis sms til eAvisa.

eAvisa følger saken og kommer med nye opplysninger om Trump`s ukjente tvillingsøster daglig frem til 13 mai 2065. Har du info om Albertine Trost kan du sende oss tips på politikk@tvillingsøsken.no

BREAKING NEWS: Desperate cat fights a daily battle against forced coziness

The cat Birger lives with his mother Sigrid Hårvått Gnure in Sogndal. Birger is despairing, constantly afraid of compulsive coziness. The owner, in turn, uses Birger as a substitute for lack of attention from the opposite sex

Forced to cuddle to get food
Birger is just one of many thousands of Norwegian cats living with compulsive coziness. “We see that many thousands of cats every day have to fight hard battles against forced coziness. Ultimately, the cats lose this battle as they must have food and have no other options” says Ivan Kattvold of the Association for Cats Who Experience Daily Struggle Against Cuddles (FFKSODKMK)

Kos is abuse
A number of cats live in conditions where they have to cuddle daily to maintain tranquility in the home. “Many cats experience being woken up with cuddles in the middle of a dream. This is of course traumatic for the cat people who, with the exception of a little scratching and loud meowing, are defenseless towards single women who cuddle them hard, often and for a long time” says the association leader. “Kos is abuse. These cats will not be cuddled, but are forced to cuddle several times a day” he concludes

BREAKING NEWS: Drunk Jesus deeply regrets turning plenty of water into wine yesterday

It’s a tough Sunday for Jesus. A number of churches now report that Jesus is by no means present as He tends to be. “Unfortunately, Jesus like everyone else can sometimes drink too much and last night and night it was one of those times” priest Bjørn-Grevling Guderud told eAvisa

Wine in the water tap
A number of witnesses who partied with Jesus tell that Jesus turned enormous amounts of water into wine. “At one point, all the water taps in the house were converted into wine taps and Jesus hung under the taps and drank divine amounts of wine”says one of the party participants who also says that Jesus struggled to walk on the water in the house pool

Behaved like a fool
Moreover, several witnesses tell that Jesus unfortunately became all too drunk. Jesus is said to have behaved frivolously and is said to have splashed red wine in the face of his friend Steffen. “It’s all right, yes Jesus got drunk and crazy, but here in the house we forgive each other”says Steffen who works daily as a snake tamer at kløfta reptile park and who by others is described as Jesus’s very best friend.

eAvisa follows the case further and returns with supplementary news if there turns out to be more to this case…

15 perverse and fun ways to paint your car

More attention in traffic?

Do you need attention when you’re out with the car? Then we recommend that you take a look at these photos proving that cars can be far fun and creative than we are normally used to:

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The 23 Worst Custom Paint Jobs on Cars in Human History

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12 Crazy Cool Custom Smart Car Designs | Smart car, Smart auto ...

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Auto Body-Collision Repair-Car Paint in Fremont-Hayward-Union City ...

7. PRESS PAGE 2 FOR LAST 7 CARS

15 perverse og morsomme måter du kan lakkere bilen din på

Mer oppmerksomhet i trafikken?

Har du behov for oppmerksomhet når du er ute med bilen? Da anbefaler vi at du tar en titt på disse bildene som beviser at biler kan være langt morsomme og kreative enn vi normalt sett er vant til:

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7. TRYKK SIDE 2 FOR SISTE 7 BILER

14 embarrassing photos that make the beach extra fun

Soon summer and beaches!

We can now almost count days until the first days of summer. Long light evenings, comfortable temperature and not least long days off on the beach. We have found some pictures that show that one can easily be entertained on a public beach if you look closely enough. Sunburn, involuntary erections and very original clothing are some of the entertainment you can enjoy on the beach. We’re looking forward 🙂

1. Love on the beach there ie. Great and not embarrassing at all:

2. Erotic dreams can quickly turn into laughter when falling asleep on the beach:

3. Was perhaps not such an idyllic picture anyway?:

4th Noda so…:

5. Great it:

6. Then there are those who provide complete F. Good entertainment there too:

PRESS PAGE 2 FOR LAST 7 BEACH PHOTOS

14 pinlige bilder som gjør strandlivet ekstra morsomt

Snart sommer og strandliv!

Vi kan nå nærmest telle dager til de første sommerdagene. Lange lyse kvelder, behagelig temperatur og ikke minst lange fridager på stranden. Vi har funnet noen bilder som viser at man lett kan la seg underholde på en offentlig strand om man ser nøye nok. Solbrenthet, ufrivillige ereksjoner og svært orginale klesplagg er noe av underholdningen man kan nyte på stranden. Vi gleder oss 🙂