BREAKING NEWS: Government will ban name Ronny to reduce crime and unemployment

The government has today issued a press release warning that it will ban future parents from calling their child Ronny. The reason is that those named Ronny now represent 91% of all crime and unemployment in Norway. “We need to end this, society simply can’t afford more Ronnys now,” says the Prime Minister

No longer
It has for many years been considered to ban the name Ronny, but for strange reasons it has never been carried out. Prime Minister Erna Solberg tells eAvisa that as of 01.01.2021 it will no longer be possible to call your child Ronny. “We’re doing this for the next generation. With this ban, we believe in a sharp reduction in crime already from 2045” says Erna

While the vast majority react positively to the ban, car brand Volvo is raging over the government’s proposal. The reason is that a whopping 99% of all older Volvo models sold are sold to people named Ronny. “We do not support this ban in any way. It’s almost racist.” says marketing manager at Volvo Norway Odd-Ronny-Bjørnar Dekkstad in an email consisting only of block letters

What do you mean, is it okay to ban the name Ronny?

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